Finding Lost Friends

Hyderabad, January 27, LA 2 (conventionally 2024)

Today was one of those days that I live for as a creator, and so despite being tired and sleepy, I got out of bed at 11:02 PM to capture this moment.

A new product idea I have been willing — no, summoning (dueling???) — into existence just about started to reveal its outlines last week, and I was beginning to fear it was just, not good enough. Today, as on any other day, I brought out my chisel and hammer (haters will say I’m being dramatic and it was just cursor and Xcode) once again and went to work. After a few good hours, the pieces began to come together, and I realized I have made something I find… beautiful. It is finally a delight to use. I’ve felt this feeling a few times before, but I had forgotten it, and I wasn’t so sure I’d find it again — who among us can ever really be? I did this time though, and it came from the most likely of places, i.e. straight, no corners cut, chipping away at the rough edges and flaws for weeks on end.

Highs and lows have become far too common in the last year. To give you a glimpse, I wanted to create a graph of the people involved in my startup since May 2023. Unfortunately for both of us, I promised myself this is not what the "Short Form" column on my blog is about — short, quick thoughts. Cute graphs with overproduced pictures, although eminently desirable, do not fit this harsh criterion. For now, you have the opportunity to imagine a lovely graphic with many breathtaking peaks and troughs. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that this time felt different — it had been over a month of no-light-in-sight drudgery. I’m happy that today happened, since it is both the gift itself and a proof of its own liveness.

It was a day of many other small wins. It started with me finding this yoga mat that had been lost for about a month. I also received an exciting recommendation for an old science paper, which (PDF download-link trigger warning) I will not be selfish about. Also, I had a very pleasant first conversation with someone new, and I kept catching myself being taken aback by her presence, of both mind and person. This particular feeling is another, perhaps even longer lost friend, and it's good to see it return.